Am I a bad child?

Tell me am I a bad child? I never been a spoiled child my parents did not raise me as one. They taught me to work hard for me to earn a certain thing or to get one. I need to work up my courage and think for a million ways on what will I say to ask for money from them. Lately, my black shoes broke to the point that if it is alive it will probably speak, and since I am graduating soon I never asked for a new one though my dad made an offer to buy me one. The last time I asked for money from him is because I need to buy a textbook and that I need extra money for me to attend a job interview at Makati. I have been eyeing to this dental clinic at Tagaytay where they offer a 5k downpayment for braces for a long time, I told my dad about this last week and we agreed that he will pay for the downpayment and I should pay for the rest and that we will visit the clinic a week later, now that this day has come, he is really persistent at saying that I don't have the money for the downpayment and that it is far. I got pissed and told him that "huwag na tayo pumunta, okay lang". I mean if he's saying that for sure he doesn't want to go, then he said "why?" I told him "kasi nga wala akong pera". WE AGREED FOR IT LAST WEEK THAT HE WILL PAY FOR THE DOWNPAYMENT YET HE'S SAYING THINGS LIKE THAT. He told me that "hindi mo kasi sinasabi plano mo sa akin" I replied "ikaw na nga po nagsabi nung pinagusapan natin na ikaw sa 5k ako na bahala sa rest" then he repeated it again "sasabihin mo kasi sa akin yung plano mo, ang dami mong pinapabili sa akin". SERIOUSLY??? THE LAST THING I ASKED FOR MONEY FOR YOU IS FOR THE JOB INTERVIEW. HINDI NA AKO NAGPAPABILI SA INYO, HINDI NA AKO NANGHIHINGI KAPAG HINDI KO KAILANGAN. AKO NA BUMIBILI NG IBA. TAPOS GANUN PA?

SAMANTALANG, SA ILLEGITIMATE MONG ANAK TODO BIGAY KA? LUHO, ANIK-ANIK, BASURA TODO BILI AKO. SAMANTALANG AKO, NA ANAK MO SA LEGITIMATE MONG PAMILYA TINITIPID MO? HINDI LUHO ANG HINIHILING KO, KAILANGAN KO YUN. PLEASE SANA MAINTINDIHAN NIYO NAMAN AKO.

Tell me, am I a bad child?

La Durano Cafe

          La Durano Cafe is located near DLSU-D gate 1, it is behind 7-11. I'm always intrigued to go here ever since I saw it a few years ago because I find it small yet cozy, it's like whenever I walk pass by their cafe I always think of "oh, this place looks neat and cozy" but I don't have the chance to go there since I was kind of busy, until I got this opportunity to go there when we are looking for a perspective client in our Internet Marketing subject whereas we will make a website and social medias of their business.
          My first impression as I got inside La Durano Cafe is relaxing because of their interior, it's relaxing brown color and the ambiance is relaxing also, their choice of music felt like I'm in cafe at Paris. I sat down at one of their long sofas with my friends and we ordered some beverages. I ordered one of their coffee and IT WAS AMAZING. It was tasty and at the same time affordable.
          Their staff at La Durano Cafe was nice and accommodating, they are really friendly and they are always smiling for you. They are always willing to help you at all time. They said that they are all from JIL which is nice because they are not just doing business to earn money but they are also doing this with the guidance of the Lord. They also hold Bible meeting that is called "Coffee Talk with Jesus".
          I am always looking forward on going to this cafe and to drink their scrumptious coffee again.

Lone

Have you ever felt that feeling that even though you're surrounded with bunch of friends and still feel alone? People always thought you're happy because you make them laugh, you're all smiles and never put a frown. I never felt this alone in my life. I wanted to share it with someone else but I know that their busy and probably wouldn't care. I always kept my true feelings with myself. My anger, my sadness, loneliness and more but I never share it with someone thinking that it'll make them bored and not worth their time and I don't want them to waste time just to listen to me. Ending my life brushed in my thoughts a couple times, but I never actually do it. I can't, I'm scared. I don't want to get hurt. I'm emotionally hurt, I don't want to hurt myself further. In the past years that I felt alone, my only friend is google. I know it's kind of a loner thing but it helped me. People on the net are kind, sweet and comforting. They will help you to lift your mood, your spirit and have an optimistic view of life. Things have changed now. I never go to google to help me. Now, I reach to God. I seek him in everything that I will do. I thanked Him for everything. I seek and thanked Him whenever i'm sad, happy, alone, etc.. because I know that he's there for me. Lately, my everyday life is starting to get dark. I feel alone again. I feel that everyone left me. That one person that I used to share everything is missing. I don't even feel Him anymore. I feel that everyone turned their backs at me. Where are You when I need You the most? I feel so vulnerable, alone, lost and confused in this world. I need Your presence. Where are You? Please come back. I need You. I don't know what to do anymore. Help me......

these are the thoughts I have in my mind last September 03, 2014

Fall Out Boy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lkJkwnXQZ8

I just want to thank this band for their music that helped me to move on to the saddest point of my life. I know that they wouldn't know me or my life but they really helped me. I'm just happy that I got to know them before worst thing could happen.

More Than This.

Drinking cheap wine from paper cups in your old apartment,

said a little too much when we got drunk could you feel the tension?

I could see it in the air like smoke, making it so hard to breathe

Heaven never felt so clear as when you're right in front of me

I wanna be more than this, I got it bad for you

I'm thinking you're worth the risk, 
so tell me what I gotta do

We could stay high, we could lay low, I would do anything but let go

Give it all up because I just can't resist I wanna be more than this

Middle of the night you picked me up because he kept me waiting

You tell me that you're done looking for love because your heart can't take it

You say you're better off alone I say you need somebody new

It's killing me to be this close I'm right here in front of you

My violin :)

Meet my Violin :) bought it from Kuya Dale from Laguna :)) mura lang yan :)) great deal! pogi pa nung nagdeliver <3 pogi talaga XD I still have his number, kaso smart :( sa Festival kami nagkita para bilin si violin my bebeboy XD lovelove ko yaaaannnn! kaso meron nga akong violin, hindi naman ako ganun karunong. Marunong ako ng ibang songs pero walang ginawa kundi mag screech XDDD kakainis lang XD pero lagi akong nagpapractice nyan. Walang sukuan XD kaso ngayong mga sumunod na araw nilapastangan ako ng sarili kong violin :( nagka-rashes ako sa leeg. Ang kati sobra :(( para na siyang chikinini daw. Kasi mejo redish na nangingitim. Nagconsult ako sa university clinic and binigyan naman nila ako ng gamot :) hopefully sana gumaling kaagad :)) ngunit ngayong may rashes ako, baka hindi ko na muna ipaplay si violin :( hihintayin ko munang mawala yung rashes. SIRA NGA DIN PALA ANG AKING PIANO :( kaya magiipon ako ng mga hanggang P3.5k para makabili ng pianong pangtawid gutom muna. Sana ibili ako ni papa ng upright piano sa Debut ko :(( yun lang masayang masaya na ako. Hindi na kailangang magparty, upright piano lang, masaya na ako :) <3

Thoughts I have today

 Hey! Here you will read what I'm thinking about now. These are just random thoughts.. so beware. Well, I really really really want to watch All Time Low's concert with The Maine on August 12 at MOA. I have the moolahs to buy 1 ticket, it's just that the seats is not worth it :( I mean it's too far and I'll be alone, but I do want to watch.. soooo I'm joining this contest with a super little chance for me to win it, but WTH might as well try it since there's nothing for me to loose right? It's on twitter and you just have to retweet the hashtag. I HOPE I WIN. I'M DYING TO WIN. haahahaha. 

Anyway, our course's general assembly is coming up on 7th of August, and I don't have the dress to wear still, that's why I'm going to the mall tomorrow to look for that perfect dress. It's my last GA (hopefully) at La Salle. I wonder if I can find that dress tomorrow at Festival Mall, my budget's pretty limited and it's not much :( I have to look for the complete outfit: top, bottom, shoes and accessories that will fit my 2K budget. YES! P2K. that's why I have to really look so that my budget will fit my attire. meehhh. The motif's white so it's really hard to find for my body (I'm fat) sooooo yeah.